Identify and clearly define the rules that are important
for your family. Family rules may be specific to a situation, like dinner time
rules, or they can be specific to behaviors that are never okay, like running
in the house, hitting a sibling, or jumping on furniture. Family rules should
be important enough that you have no problem consistently enforcing them.
When you first start using family rules, you
may need to choose which problem behaviors to address first. Toddlers and
preschoolers can only learn and remember two to three rules at any one time. It
is also hard for parents to consistently enforce lots of new rules. It is a
good idea to start with just one rule and add new rules as needed over time.
This gives children a chance to learn a rule and how family rules work before
others are added.
Rules are easier to follow when they are clear,
exact, and can be easily explained to your child. Family rules focus on one
specific behavior at a time. Avoid vague rules, such as “be good.” “Be good”
includes many different things and could be hard for a child to understand and
do. A more specific rule would be “Talk nicely to others.”
Family rules also should be realistic and fit
your child’s age. The rule should be something that your toddler and
preschooler can obey. Other approaches may work better than family rules for
minor behavior problems or misbehaviors that do not occur often.
